S​.​A​.​D. is Rad​!​!​!

by Longlast


Longlast Newcastle, UK

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Track Name: S.A.D. is Rad!!!
The winter breeds a fear in me
of snowy days, of dying trees.

Last year we sat by the lake,
our legs hunched up into huts
for the frozen ground.
And as the snow fell around
us I heard you whisper something
about the summer.

'The Summer bore us,
wreathed in flames
to my house and back again.
We talked a lot about
sadness with whiskey
on our breath and flowers
wrapping through my hair.
Do you remember?'

I remember whiskey.

For a while we sat
and watched the ducks
rear their heads from the ice
and glance about for Spring.
They anticipate their next fuck.

You spoke again
but this time not loud enough
for me to hear:
a sound killed by the icy air.
I pulled you near
and I spoke in chokes.

'It is Winter now
and I can't remember
how to be happy.'

I did not add:

'But soon the sun will rise
and life will cascade
through my eyes.'

The Summer brings a warmth to me,
of sunlit days, of living trees.
Track Name: 'Sadly, I Tell You, the Dreamer Can Be Killed'
Did we ever even dream?
I can’t remember. I don’t know
How or when or where
We used to scream,
I know we did. Yes.

Did we ever really feel?
I can remember a book
Stuffed full of cinéma
Tickets, receipts,
I know we tried. Yes,
I know we did.

Did we ever try to fight?
I feel that no-one
Knows: the eyes
That I see: empty,
I know we walked. Yes,
I know we did.
I know we did.

And I remember that walk:
The snow,
The banners,
The chants,
The screams,
The mass,
The walls
Of neon,
The stand,
The fall,
The hope,
The chaos,
The despair.

And I remember
Clutching at a cigarette,
And a placard, my coat
Draped around me,
Feeling damned, lost, and dead.
Track Name: Some Things Have to Hurt
You broke your ankle falling off of a pier in 2002; wet sand clogging with the blood falling out of you. Did you jump or was the seaweed too slippy to balance on? The pool of red grew.

And the doctor said,
‘This is all I can do:
Bandage over the dead tissue.
You’re lucky you didn’t land on your head.’

That night your father cried;
He realised his sweet child had died.

In 2007 you cut yourself over some girl: you’d waited in the rain for hours all for her to curl her hair and arrive. The time had struck 10: you were still there.

And your mother said,
‘This is all I can do:
Bandage over the dead tissue.
You’re lucky you didn’t tell your dad instead.’

That night your mother hung her head:
She realised that everything she knew was dead.

In 2010 you moved away from home, trying to start fresh on your own. You found the bed too wide. The kitchen too cold.

And no-one said anything.

That night you hung your head and cried:
Everything you had ever known had died.
Track Name: 'But the Dream Will Never Die'
I can feel water licking my arms and my chest,
I’ve floated far from the earth
and the cliffs and the rest. And I’m cold.
If I look on the horizon then all I can see
Is a bank of black clouds stretching in front of me
And this time I really don’t think that I
Will escape. I think I’m dying. I think
I’m fucked. And I’ll soon be dust.

The wolves and the dogs, O they’re done with me.
They’ve uncut my boat, let me drift out to sea
With nothing for comfort but books and lust
So simply put, they didn’t pause, they must
Think that this it. I won’t bother them anymore.
No. No, not like before.

But they’re wrong. ‘Cause,
I just want to live as much as can be
So, I’ll read the first lines of this fine poetry
As I sail beneath clouds, yeah,
As I sail beneath clouds of black.
And from here in my boat I’ll wave you away,
I don’t need your help, no, I don’t dismay:
Although my body may rot and I’ll be forgot
It doesn’t matter ‘cause I’ll tell you what
Just can’t die and I won’t even lie
When I say that love and compassion,
They’ll never be in fashion
But they won’t die.
They’ll never die.

So, I address this song to you in your bed
At night when you can’t sleep or you think you're dead
Because the wolves, they’re baying, they’re baying
At your door. And they mean war.
Just remember that all things at all things monetary
Are contemporary and therefore temporary,
And let yourself drift out alongside me
And sail along on the big deep blue sea
And think you’re free and it will be.
Just remember that all the greats, the crumble to dust
And that all of the evils ideas in this
They will rust. Think you’re free
And it will be, with just these thoughts:

‘I just want to live as much as can be
So, I’ll read some more lines of some fine poetry
And we’ll march beneath banners,
We’ll march beneath banners of black.
And from here in the crowd, yeah, we’ll wave you away,
We don’t need your help and, no, we won’t dismay:
Although our bodies may rot and then be forgot
It doesn’t matter ‘cause we’ll tell you what
Just can’t die and we don’t lie
When we say that love and compassion
Though they aren’t in fashion
They’ll never die.
They just can’t die.’